I was WRONG

August 12, 2006

Of course I had an idea of what im getting into. But man was i wrong on a couple of things about saudi.

#1 I have yet too see much less ride a friggin camel. I got to admit i was looking forward to seeing that ugly horse thing. I imagined there’d be a couple of camel riding dudes along the dessert. With the caravans and shit. Speaking of dessert…

#2  I’ve only seen the dessert once and it wasn’t that huge. I’ve seen more sand in beaches really. And its not plain at all. There were rocks and bushes. There weren’t sand dunes or anything. No cactuses ( or is it cacti?) either. I packed band aids for that. I always taught whenever i looked out a window i’d gaze at a wide expanse of dessert. All I see outside is a friggin wall. Its because im in the heart of the city i guess.

#3 You do not get raped everytime you go outside alone. Most saudis are pretty decent people. Sure when you try to hail a taxi maybe one or two private cars will stop and try to pick you up but hey. If you give them the angry face and say no, they always leave you alone. It can get pretty fuckin annoying also. but i’ll tell you about that some other time.

#4 90% of Saudis speak English. That’s what they said in the orientation in manila. Hell no. its more like 90% DON’T speak english. And arabic is such a hard language to understand. its very fast and has a lot of throat articulations. But its fun also that they don’t know the language. You can ask a customer “sir, you want me to add piss on your coffee?”. “Aiwa! (yes)” he’ll always answer. That’s because…

#5 Saudis are pretty stupid people. Most of them anyway. The educated ones are ok but the rest, man i swear, are dumb shits. There was this one guy who ordered an extra tea bag for his cappuccino. what can i say, he wanted to taste it all. Young people here get poisoned for drinking perfumes. Why? Because the perfume bottles say it has an alcohol content and the idiots want to get drunk. Also their speed limit is 120kph all around, even it the streets man. that’s why they hold the world record every year for car accidents. ok here’s another one. their stock markets fluctuate very sharply everyday because all of them play the stock market without understanding it. its like gambling for them. Its in the international newspapers man. So what happened. the thing just crashed really badly. i’ve got 3 saudi staff that lost quite a bit of money in the crash. He didn’t even know what the stock market is. he described it as bank transactions when your money goes up or down. And he was part of the educated folk. sheesh.

#6 There are no oil wells in every home. The government owns it all. That’s why their so goddamn rich. Especially nowadays when the price of oil is sky rocketing. So what does the government do with all that money? A lot of pretty creative things man. Liket paying each student 1500sr (roughly 18,000php) every month just to go to school. They say it’s allowance. I say it’s bribery.

#7 A liter of petrol costs 8php here (converted of course). I knew it was cheap, but not THAT cheap. Bottled water is more expensive than oil.

#8 there IS booze here. the black market sells em really expensive though. also people brew their own shit. its no johnny black but hell i’ll take it

#9 Dude saudi girls are one of the hottest women on earth. underneath their black veils are volumptious, perfect assed, fair skinned, model material drop dead gorgeous women. I kid you not. that’s why they wear the abayas. Because their husbands and families know how hot their women are. they don’t want people staring at them like that. First saudi girl I ever saw.. i swear she was a better version of bianca araneta. if you could imagine that, that was her. and girls like that are normal here.

#10 Saudis do not stink by having terrible BO. They stink by covering it all up with strong perfumes and musks. Also the general stench is caused by the Bangalis (bangladeshis), idians, and most of the black people here in general. I hate to say it but it’s true. You know the smell is worse in the winter than in the summer. Because in the winter it’s too godamn cold for them to take showers. Sometimes it’s so bad… my eyes tear up. Its painful man.

Only pinoys smell good here consistently. Thats why Pinoys are the ones getting raped all the time. The stinky non deodorant wearing nationalities, they don’t touch. Because they think good hygiene makes you gay thus qualifying you for a good ass pumping…See i told you they were stupid.

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